DECODING the Best of Philly Fashion #4

Here is our last fashion decoded post for this year! Lilly Pulitzer has been elected as the go to country club brand in Philadelphia... And I couldn't contain myself from playing the role, it was too much fun!

DECODING the Best of Philly Fashion #3

I thought it was going to be such an easy job to visit local stores and make my own reviews... Well, not always I have been successful.

DECODING the Best of Philly Fashion #2

I had suggested my next stop on my last post, but unfortunately that store is still not operating regularly until (and including) Labor Day weekend. But no worries, the Philadelphia Mag never placed them on a rank, so there is no one better than another - they are all winners in their own categories. So here I share with you another one of my visits, and attempts, to show you what the Best Of Philly Fashion means, this time featuring the best NEW OFF-PRICE STORE: Century 21.

DECODING the Best of Philly Fashion #1

Did you know... Philadelphia was named the #2 city in the world for shopping? The nomination came by The Conde Naste Traveler, and did not surprise me much considering the size of King of Prussia Mall or the amount of discounts I usually find in the off-price stores around. However, the more I read about the best local places to shop... the more I believe someone gotta translate to us (expats) what this mean exactly!

The high price of living away from home

Over the past weeks I had my twin sister visiting me in Philadelphia. For the first time she was the one leaving when we said goodbye. While I am the one who would be away from our family and happenings, I experienced this time all the bitterness of driving back home from the airport, with my mind filled of flashbacks from the new memories we made. I sighted entering my now empty house, already missing the fun and energy my sister and her kids had brought in. Not knowing when we will do the same again. The following article fell on my lap right after, while I waited for my husband to arrive, and get my mind an easy, since my thoughts were racing back replaying all the decisions we made and make everyday, as very normal expatriates. It is so perfect written, since 2 days ago I have been making its translation from Portuguese, so I could share it with you. If anyone is interested in reading the original, here it is.

By Ruth Manus:

The High Price Of Living Away From Home.

Costs that go way beyond rent.

Flying: the eternal jealously and frustration mankind experience every time a flying bird cuts the sky. We learned to do a million of different things, but being able to fly... That's something life didn't allow us. Maybe for knowing that we, humans, belong to places and people too easily, and in this case, flying would bring crises hard to handle, between the temptation to leave and need to stay.

Well. Then man created the wheel. The Kombi. Skateboard. Harley. The Boeing 737. And we discovered that we could fly without wings. But things got complicated when we realized we could leave without a date to return.

After this, all the braves began to arise leaving behind their poor cities full of misery and hunger to feed their families in capitals filled with opportunities and monsters. These braves left the comfort of their own home to study and dream of an incredible and hypothetic future awaiting them. They left beloved cities to live opportunities that can't happen twice in their lives. These people in the end left behind the lives they could held in their hands, flying to new lives they decided to face with an open heart.

The lives of those who go flying elsewhere are paradoxal, every day. It is a constant heart on the fence. It is crying for wanting to be there while not willing to move from here. It is seeing heaven and hell on departures, and dreams and nightmares in staying. It's to be proud of the choice that offered you a thousand treasures, and hate yourself for the same choice that took from you another thousands precious things.

Living this life is a classic routine: laying in bed thinking of your old home, in the miles away, in the beloved people there, in what they are doing without you, in the laughters you didn't participate, and the hard times you were not there to help either. It's trying to hide a tear without success, and sight knowing you are the only to hold responsible for your decisions. In the next morning, it's wake up feeling alright. Life makes sense again, even though you know other nights like that will come.

But do we ever learn to... get sick without being taken care of, smell food with our eyes, make empty apartments into homes, transform coworkers into friends, pain into resistance, strongly missing someone into just thinking of one?

Will we learn to... be a son/ daughter from far, love via Skype, see kids growing by videos, pretend that Whatsapp can substitute a bar table, be a friend through emoticons instead giving hugs, laugh out loud while typing HAHAHAHAHA... to swallow up the crying and move forward?

I wonder if that will always be the fate of those going through this. Will we be still asking ourselves if we should be here or there? Is this sort of a test, a choice, braveness or karma?

Wondering if we will ever know what's the right place to be. After all, is there a right place to be and live all the uncertainties of life that we insist on pretending we can control?

I know it is not easy. And admire those who face all this, every day. Those who left Vitória da Conquista, Sao José do Rio Preto, Floripa, Juiz de Fora, Recife, Sorocaba, Cuiabá or Paris to build a life in Sao Paulo. Those who left Sao Paulo to go to Rio, Brasilia, Dublin, New York, Aix-en-provence, Brisbane, Lisbon. Those who left Bolivia, Colombia or Haiti to live in Brazil. Those who changed Portugal to Italy, Italy to France, France to Emirates. Those who left Senegal or Marrakesh to pursue happiness in France. Those who left Angola, Mozambique or Cape Verde to live in Portugal. My admiration to those who try, face things up, and go.

It is a high price to pay. We ask ourselves, blame ourselves, stress ourselves. But destiny, life, and our own gut sometimes say we should leave. Some don't go. Those like me who did, are not free of fear and many weaknesses. But we are forever free from fearing to never have tried. Keep walking.

For your Philadelphia visitors

For an expat is out of this world the feeling of anticipation prior to the visit of dear friends and family... Excitement that just compares to the feeling of traveling their way! There is so much to see here, and so many places to be, and people to meet... Even though seems insane to present all the pieces to guests, as if they would be able to see things thro your lenses and experience your new hometown as you do as an expatriate... I can't help myself trying to do so! And if this isn't a love note to Philadelphia, what else would be?

Life savers updated

I have updated my life savers (originally posted last November), thinking of newcomers specially.

Many things are done a lot faster (and easier) in the US than in my home country. My guess, partially because of Americans driven spirit, or lack of time to dedicate to things that shouldn't take much time. Anyway, integrating myself to this lifestyle did make my day-to-day routine less time consuming, creating room for more me time (gracias!)

Moving help

• White Fence for all home services price comparison and purchase.

• If moving to another house or other state, try quoting what is best in your region using these: Moving, Unpakt or 123Movers
• Housecleaning or home repairs: Handy

Household products
• Multi surface disinfecting wipes (aka Lysol wipes, but any other brand does the job): it is self explanatory. Just keep in mind it also kills cold and flu viruses. Trust me, you will end up using it more often than you can imagine. I find it superefficient on bathroom/ kitchen sinks - swipe and shine!

• Instant stain remover pens (aka Tide To Go or Clorox pen): if you are known for keeping you head over the clouds, carry one in your purse too. Accident happens, and you don't wanna wait for that coffee stain to dry up! I always keep one handy when hosting a party, your guests will appreciate fast and efficient help to save their attire from wine or tomato sauce slip.

Findings

• Zocdoc is an amazin app! Think of Yelp but designed to health services... Great, huh? You can filter doctors by specialty, location, have access to reviews, calendars AND book an appointment on a click. This is gold, ladies!
• Instacart for online grocery shop. Delivery rates and prices are better than FreshDirect, just saying.
• Restaurant delivery: Caviar or GrubHub
• This is super right now: Airbrush tan at your home! Make your appointment at SPF (safe personalized faux) Tanning
• Dying to try v-steaming? I haven't tried yet, but here is the place to go: Total Serenity Spa

Out and about

• Uber!! Can't get enough of this app. Cars and drivers are totally clean and nice, they pick you up wherever you are and don't need cash... and UberX is super cheap. Totally saved me many times!

City
• Call 911 for any emergency
• Call 311 or *FIX for street department (in case you wanna report a pothole or cave-in).
• Check Philadelphia school district to find schools nearby and assign your kids.
• For information on school and university closings: tune KYW radio 1060, call the hotline 215-400-INFO, or check and subscribe to FOX 29 school alerts online.

Thank me later.!!!

Peace

8 Brazilian habits I lost when I moved to America

Culture habits and relationship dynamics are very particular to every country. Although moving abroad does not change us to the core, it does shape our behavior. Here I share with you few things that have slowly transformed me ever since I moved from Brazil:

Think out of the box

Here's a new way of shopping that has spread around America pretty quickly, setting a new trend on online purshase behavior: Subscription Boxes. As an expatriate, I can say I haven't seen the same occurring in my home country, or some of those I recently visited. It works just like signing for a magazine - for a monthly fee you get monthly services and products = almost customized evaluation + best selection + delivered at your door. Super convenient and game changing!

10 expat problems

1. Managing investments in 2 or more countries
Yes, dealing with different currencies/rates makes staying on top of investments a little bit of a piece of work!

2. Lost in translation
Have you found something super funny but trying to explain to someone else you realized its translation doesn't make sense? Embarrassing! My husband thinks I have no sense of humor no more!

3. Emotional buying
I can't leave my husband alone shopping in the Italian market, he brings everything home!!!! I mean it!

4. Missing out
I wasn't there when three of my nephews were born or when my mother passed. I missed some weddings, group vacations, birthdays, housewarmings and baptism parties...

5. Being okay with #4
I learned I can't be everywhere. Time doesn't stop and my resources aren't infinite. Life happens, and my participation on people's lives shouldn't be punctuated by milestones or anything but connection. Yes, cherish and love can be felt from long distances!

6. Goodbyes
But I didn't get numb! I cry when the vacation is over and it is time for saying goodbyes to my loved ones... Every time.

7. Cravings are not restricted to PMS anymore
Self explanatory, right! I crave passion fruit juice or coconut water like... all the time.

8. Autocorrector does not correct anymore
I have 3 languages in my phone, my Autocorrector is almost my enemy!

9. Belonging or not belonging: that is the question
When you think of yourself a little bit of an alien in your expatriate country but go back home for vacation only to find out that you feel the same way there too!

10. DIY beauty routines
It's hard for me to find a place that gives me satisfactory beauty service. Too bad, depending of where you move as an expat it gets difficult to find a good waxing studio, or hairdresser. So I learned homemade facials, to trim my bangs, wax myself... and honestly I'm happy to wax me (said goodbye to bruises and bumps, and hello to extra cash... Not a bad exchange!). In my first attempts I bought microwavable wax (super easy to find on eBay, Amazon & some drugstores), but slowly moved to making my own honey wax. Wanna give it a try, and learn for any emergency? Here's how to DIY.

Ingredients: 2 tsp Honey • 1 part Lime • 2 parts Sugar | How to: bring everything to boil while stirring non-stop until it smoothly covers the back of your wood spoon. It will be super hot! Do not touch it until is warm to the skin and have gooey consistency

Hope I brought a smile to your face, at least I had one while writing this! Go ahead and tell me what's in your list!

Peace out!
Mari

5 things I learned from living abroad

The other day someone asked me if the experience of living in another country taught me not be afraid to try new things, and I realized that's not true for me. It's the other way around: was my experimenting mindset that helped me to live better in a new country. But then, I got trigged to list what moving has thought me so far. And here it is!

A brand new you

A new year is about to begin and in retrospect is usual to name accomplishments, compare life now versus the beginning of the year... and write some resolutions short-term/ long-term.

Party in the USA! 10 dos and don'ts

If you ever get a little confused with the American party etiquette, you are not alone!

Holiday season is opened and I share with you some insight of what to do (or not to) as a guest & host. Hope from now on you please Uncle Sam, and be nice according to Santa Claus eyes too!

Guest essentials:

1. Respond invitations ahead

It's polite to show you are making room in your agenda; confirming last minute will send a wrong message (as if you were giving priority to something else). In case you can't confirm with brevity, give the heads up - and make sure to mention when you will be able to answer. Don't stress with the whys, usually nobody cares, everyone just want to better plan the party - and the number of people attending is key. Americans are okay and respectful of people having other plans already drafted, hardly you will hurt someone feelings (but ditching is a different story, be aware).

2. Do not be late

Not sure being on time is actually something only British, as far as I know Americans are pretty much on spot. So don't make people wait (unless they always make you, in which case it wouldn't be disrespectful by default!). Definitely forget the idea of being cool if not punctual - 15min window is tolerated, anything more will present you to the group as rude or careless (here it is considered very selfish to make people run by your clock. Besides, in this country time is a very valuable asset. Get it?)

3. Charm the host

Avoid being empty handed. Lack ideas? Casual events ask for wine, beer, cheese, dessert... Asking the host is not bad! But for special parties I tend to think of a special wine/ liquor, an exotic cooking oil, flowers or a beautiful candle.

4. Be ready to take your shoes off

No shoes policy inside American homes is more common than you can imagine. Most of times people will let you know in advance, but also quite often they assume you would know. Well, now you do!

Hosting Top 6:

1. Prepare ahead

Make a checklist of things to do, and prepare in the prior evening all you can: marinate meat, wash salad and fruits, set table layout... In the day of the event, less is more! So you are ready to greet your guests at the door, and most important: enjoy the party.

2. You set the mood

If you have fun, chances are the whole group will. A friend once told that a party is over when one starts cleaning, and this statement proves to be right all the time for me. Also, I tend to worry too much if there is anything missing, if you are the same... Try drinking another glass and loose it up! My worst nightmare is making people uncomfortable at my place, and I realized I do that when overthinking if they are okay.

3. Arrange a DIY drink station

This is something I have seen quite often here. It is an awesome idea to engage talk among guests, and get the focus away from you if you are busy

4. Get by with a little help

If your event is casual, it is fine to ask guests to bring wine, a side dish or dessert. Just DO NOT make individual calls - either wait for people to offer or be sure to generally add to the invitation "please bring an appetizer of your choice". If anything, you can always ask for some hands when the party starts! One of my friends purposely dont get things ready in time just to engage people, and help conversation flow. Last, NEVER ask for help cleaning up! People who would like to (help), will make their way.

5. Favors

Special events require a small favor in return, and people really expect it. By special occasion Americans mean Holiday parties, showers, children's and milestone birthdays, welcome/ goodbye parties, house-warming... be prepared!

6. Pay thanks

Always thank your guests. If the occasion was very important, try to send flowers their way. If it was a formal event, a well handwritten thank note works best. But if your party was just a casual affair, no problem keeping it as it is - an email or text message is fine.

Peace, fancy china out & glasses up ladies! Happy Holidays!!

The silver lining

It was Election Day in Brazil yesterday. Such a hard experience to watch everything from far without an active participation. As I get disappointed by the second ballot results, I can't help myself comparing and counting all the things that in my opinion make the US one of a kind.

What to do with your suffering?

Because this open letter says a lot about acceptance and change, it resonates to adjustment phases everyone goes thro at some point in life (in a different scale, of course). I take the opportunity to share it, believing we can learn from it, and make a better use of the conflicts we experience. Hope you enjoy the reading! This is from Liz Gilbert:

Interview #1

Yes, we are opening space for interviews and testimonials too!!

We are thrilled to hear your stories and make possible to anyone else grow from them. Enjoy & feel free to contact us in case you know someone who can share an interesting point of view!

Today, we are talking to Fabiana!

8 drops of hope: mini vacays!

Planning a weekend getaway takes first time, second a WHOLE weekend available... But what if finding a window at your husband's calendar seems like an impossible mission? My advice: try to do the most of 1 single day!

A leopard can't change his spots

As much as I believe and support the idea of being always yourself, I gotta say part of adaptation is change. Understanding a new culture is living it. 

The finish line

What is a perfect image to you? Your perfect collection of humor, habits, posture, manners, education, fashion... most certainly do not fit in the new picture you are part of right now. True? That's culture shock. And it's about time to share how to overpass it...

And the winner is... Mimosa!

From East to the West coast I find there's nothing more likeable in this country than... a mimosa!

Created on Ritz hotel in Paris, this cocktail drink served initially over brunch gained the graces of Americans and today is also present in many special occasions: weddings, bday parties,